Eternal Life Volume 1 by IComeToShanghai
-There won't be any pictures with this post, but please read while listening to this it is done by one one of my favorite bands I Come To Shanghai visit there website here.
A week or so ago I had a sudden stop in the amount of post I was putting up, there were two reasons for this. 1. School was about to start and I had to get stuff done 2. I was going through a lot in my life with a girl I was with. I won't put any names to this post and will only refer to her as "her, she, etc.".
My Girlfriend and I were in a happy relationship of about 7 months at the time when she ended up having to leave to go to Japan and as much as I was thinking I was gonna miss her when it came down to it I never found myself honestly missing her. I just hung out with all my friends as normal and continued summer without her, but even though I didn't miss her I was thinking more and more about where I was in my relationship and how I really felt. While she was gone I talked to many of my friends about this and got their opinions on how I was feeling.
While she was gone I took a trip to Maine and while I was there I was alone for long periods of time with little contact with friends, games, Internet and spent a good amount of the time still thinking about things like "Am I really happy with her?" and "Do I want to be with her even after school?". For some reason or the other I couldn't really tell what I wanted and only knew something had changed and I couldn't do much while I was away and should just wait till I get back. After I got back from my week long vacation she was still not back, but another girl was waiting for me when I got back home on the 1st day and I couldn't wait to see her. This girl was actually the game Catherine. I was looking forward to it's story, but never thought I could relate to much until I started playing it and it hit me right away what was going on with me.
While playing I decided to answer the games questions they give you about love honestly as if I was Vincent (the player) and my girlfriend was Katherine (Vincents girlfriend). Now I would never cheat on a girl so don't think while she was gone I cheated on her I would never do that to a girl. The real things I noticed was I didn't want a commitment to this girl like Vincent does with his girlfriend in the game of many years. Deep down I realized I couldn't see myself actually wanting to marry her, have kids, or just live our lives together and that someone I would really feel that way about was out there. I did care for her a lot, but staying with her now just felt like lying to my self and her after noticing this. As the game continued I ended up leaving Katherine because of the choices I made and ended up with someone that I felt I had more in common with and wanted to spend of my life with.
After beating the game she had still not returned just yet and had decided out of fairness to her (since we had been dating for over 8 months at this point) wait and not act until I see her to just to make sure what I was feeling was true. When she returned I ended up finally meeting with her and unfortunately for our relationship my feeling were right all alone and had to end it and a few days later I ended it with her on the phone. I would rather be the bad guy now than wait and do this later after staying with her longer and making it more painful on the both of us. I am now in my last year of high school single and things are a bit strange now. after being with someone for a long amount of time like I was with her, going back to being single feels a bit weird and kind of a lonely feeling.
I don't regret doing anything, my feelings haven' changed at all, and I'm glad I did it when I did. Still as I'm typing this my outlook into the year ahead for the last year of high school for me isn't something I can tell how it will turn out. I just wanted to post this rather personal story about what I've been thinking about for the majority of last month and early August. I would like to thanks all my amazing friends for helping me through this. Catherine has made me realize what I am actually wanting out of a relationship now and what love as well as the meaning of commitment means to me. So thank you Atlus for making such a wonderful story and game.
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